12 Calls You Should Make If Your Spouse Dies
If your husband or wife just died, you may be looking at a phone, a pile of paperwork, bills, insurance documents and bank statements wondering one simple thing: Who am I supposed to call first?
Losing your spouse can leave you grieving while simultaneously forcing you to make financial and administrative decisions you never expected to make alone. You may not even know which accounts exist, where important documents are located, or which organizations need to be notified.
You do not have to handle everything in one day. But there are certain calls that may need to be made after a spouse dies. This guide walks you through 12 of the most important ones and explains why each call matters.
Watch: 12 Calls You Should Make If Your Spouse Dies
Who Should You Call After Your Spouse Dies?
1. The Funeral Home
The funeral home is often one of the first calls a family makes. Beyond helping with funeral or memorial arrangements, funeral directors can explain some of the immediate documentation that may be needed.
Ask about obtaining certified copies of the death certificate. You may need copies when dealing with insurance companies, financial institutions, retirement accounts and other organizations.
Do not be afraid to ask how many copies might reasonably be needed based on your situation.
2. Immediate Family Members
You should not have to make every phone call or handle every practical detail yourself while grieving.
Call the family members or trusted people who need to know first. If possible, designate one trusted person to help notify extended family and friends so you are not forced to repeat the same painful conversation over and over again.
That person may also be able to help organize paperwork, make a list of questions and simply sit beside you while you make some of the more difficult calls.
3. Your Spouse’s Employer or Human Resources Department
If your spouse was employed, contact the employer or HR department and tell them about the death.
Ask whether your spouse had:
- Employer-provided life insurance
- A 401(k) or other retirement plan
- A pension
- Accrued wages or unused paid time off
- Other employee death benefits
- Health insurance covering you or your children
Do not assume you know everything your spouse had through work. There may be benefits you were never aware existed.
4. The Life Insurance Company or Insurance Agent
If your spouse had life insurance, contact the insurance company or agent and ask how to begin a death-benefit claim.
The insurer will explain its claim process and the documentation required. Keep the policy number available if you have it, but don’t assume you cannot call simply because you haven’t found every piece of paperwork yet.
If you’re trying to understand life insurance itself, read our guide to what life insurance is.
You can also read how life insurance works for a deeper explanation.
5. Social Security
Contact the Social Security Administration to determine whether you or eligible family members may qualify for survivor benefits.
Do not assume you are too young, already receiving another Social Security benefit, or otherwise ineligible without checking. Eligibility can depend on age, disability status, whether you are caring for an eligible child, and other circumstances.
A funeral home will often report a death to Social Security, but reporting the death and determining whether you qualify for survivor benefits are not necessarily the same thing.
6. Banks and Credit Unions
Next, identify the banks and credit unions where your spouse held accounts.
Before asking anyone to close an account, determine how the account is titled. A joint account, an individually owned account and an account with a payable-on-death beneficiary may be handled differently.
Ask the financial institution what documentation it requires and what happens to the account after the death of an owner.
7. The Mortgage Company or Landlord
If you own a home with a mortgage, contact the mortgage servicer to determine what needs to happen next.
Do not assume that your spouse’s death automatically means you have to leave the home or immediately pay off the entire mortgage.
If you rent, contact the landlord or property manager if the lease needs to be updated or if your spouse was the only person listed on it.
8. Credit Card Companies and Other Lenders
This is an area where surviving spouses need to be particularly careful.
Make a list of credit cards, personal loans and other debts. Determine whether each debt was solely in your spouse’s name, jointly held, co-signed or otherwise shared.
A creditor calling you does not automatically mean that you personally owe the debt.
In many situations, debts belonging solely to the deceased are handled through the estate. However, joint debts, co-signed obligations and certain state laws can change the situation.
9. The Health Insurance Company
If your health coverage came through your spouse, contact the health plan or employer promptly to find out what happens to your coverage.
Ask about continuation options, deadlines and when the existing coverage ends.
If you are suddenly responsible for choosing your own health insurance, our beginner’s guide to understanding health insurance plans can help you understand premiums, deductibles, copays, coinsurance and provider networks.
10. Retirement Accounts, Pension Providers and Investment Companies
Your spouse may have had a 401(k), 403(b), IRA, pension, brokerage account or other investment assets.
Contact the appropriate plan administrator or financial institution and ask what documentation is required for a beneficiary claim.
Do not rush to withdraw or move retirement money before understanding your options. A surviving spouse can have choices that other beneficiaries do not have, and different choices may have different tax consequences.
If you are uncertain, this is an area where speaking with a qualified tax or financial professional before making an irreversible decision may be worthwhile.
11. Auto and Home Insurance Companies
Call the companies providing homeowners, renters and automobile insurance.
The purpose isn’t simply to remove your spouse’s name. You want to make sure the property and vehicles remain properly insured while ownership and estate matters are being resolved.
Ask the insurer what changes are necessary and when they should take effect.
12. An Estate Attorney or Other Appropriate Professional
Finally, consider speaking with an estate or probate attorney, particularly if your spouse owned significant property, had debts, owned a business, died without a will, had children from another relationship, or left an estate where ownership or beneficiary issues are unclear.
The attorney can help explain what must go through probate, what may transfer outside probate, what debts the estate may owe and what responsibilities fall on the executor or personal representative.
The more complicated the estate, the more important it can be to understand your legal position before transferring property, distributing money or paying questionable debts.
You Don’t Have to Make All 12 Calls Today
This may be the most important part of this entire article.
If your spouse died yesterday, nobody should expect you to suddenly become an expert in insurance, banking, Social Security, retirement accounts, probate and debt collection.
Start with the matters that are truly urgent. Write everything down. Ask questions. Request explanations in writing when appropriate. Keep copies of documents you submit.
And when somebody tells you that you “have to” pay something, sign something, surrender something or make a financial decision immediately, it is okay to ask why.
Create a Family Information Folder Before It’s Needed
If you’re reading this article before a death has occurred, you have an opportunity that many grieving families wish they had.
Create one secure place where you and your spouse can find:
- Life insurance policy information
- Employer and HR contact information
- Bank and credit union information
- Mortgage information
- Retirement and investment accounts
- Insurance-company contact information
- Important recurring bills
- Will and estate-planning documents
- Names and contact information for important professionals
- Instructions explaining where important documents are located
Do not put passwords or highly sensitive information somewhere unsecured. The goal is to make sure your spouse knows what exists and where legitimate information can be found.
Life Insurance Is About the Person Who Has to Keep Living
Conversations about life insurance often focus on the person being insured. But the moment after a death shows what life insurance is really designed to address.
The surviving spouse may still have a mortgage, groceries, utilities, children, transportation costs and everyday living expenses while household income may have changed overnight.
That’s why life insurance should be considered based on the financial needs of the people who would remain behind.
If you’re married and you’re not sure whether your family currently has enough protection, read how much life insurance coverage a parent may need.
You can also compare term vs. whole life insurance before deciding which type of coverage may make sense for your situation.
Would Your Spouse Know What to Do Financially If You Died?
If this article has you thinking about your own family, don’t wait until someone is sitting at the kitchen table trying to figure everything out alone.
I help families understand their life insurance options and find coverage based on their individual needs and budget.
Get Your Free Life Insurance QuoteLife happens. Be prepared. Stay protected. Always put your family first.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the first thing you should do when your spouse dies?
Take care of immediate needs first, including contacting the appropriate medical or funeral professionals and notifying close family. Financial matters can then be organized according to urgency. You generally do not need to solve every financial issue on the first day.
Who needs to be notified when a spouse dies?
Depending on the circumstances, notifications may include the funeral home, employer, life insurance company, Social Security, banks, mortgage servicer, lenders, health insurer, retirement-plan administrators, property insurers and professionals handling the estate.
Am I responsible for my husband’s or wife’s credit card debt after death?
Not necessarily. Responsibility can depend on whether the account was joint, whether you co-signed, applicable state law and other circumstances. A debt solely belonging to the deceased is often handled through the deceased person’s estate rather than automatically becoming the surviving spouse’s personal debt.
Should I close my spouse’s bank account immediately?
Not necessarily. First determine how the account is titled, whether there are other owners or beneficiaries, and what recurring payments are connected to the account. Ask the bank what documentation and procedures apply before taking action.
Do I need to call Social Security when my spouse dies?
A funeral home often reports a death to Social Security, but surviving spouses should still determine whether they or other eligible family members qualify for survivor benefits or other applicable payments.
What happens to life insurance when a spouse dies?
If a valid life insurance policy was in force, the named beneficiary can generally begin the insurer’s claims process. The insurer will explain which forms and documentation are required before it can evaluate and pay the claim.
What happens to a 401(k) when a spouse dies?
What happens depends on the plan, beneficiary designation and applicable retirement-plan rules. Surviving spouses may have options that differ from those available to other beneficiaries. Contact the plan administrator before moving or withdrawing the money.
How many death certificates should I order?
The number varies by situation. Ask the funeral home how many certified copies may reasonably be needed based on the number of insurance policies, financial accounts, retirement plans, property matters and other organizations that may require one.
Should I pay my spouse’s bills immediately after they die?
Be cautious. Some household expenses may need to continue, but you should not assume every debt in your spouse’s name must be paid from your personal money. Determine who legally owes the debt and whether it is an estate obligation before paying debts you are unsure about.
What paperwork should married couples organize before one spouse dies?
Consider organizing life insurance information, bank and retirement accounts, mortgage information, insurance policies, estate documents, employer contacts and a list showing where important records can be found. Both spouses should know that these accounts and documents exist.
Continue Learning
If you’re trying to get your family’s financial protection organized before an emergency happens, these guides can help:
- What Is Life Insurance?
- Term vs. Whole Life Insurance: Which Is Right for You?
- Read This Before You Buy Life Insurance
- Who Can You Take Life Insurance Out On?
- Insurance Traps for People Over 40
Disclaimer: This article is for general educational purposes and is not legal, tax, financial or estate-planning advice. Laws and individual circumstances vary. Consult the appropriate licensed or qualified professional regarding your specific situation.
Leave a Reply